When your teens were babies, it was great having your mother-in-law or mom help you out. As you well know, you can never have enough help when you have a baby. The more hands the better.
Over the years, you appreciate the help, the babysitting, the spoiling with gifts etc. But, as your children become teens, the dynamics change and it becomes mom vs. gramma. Often, when your teen doesn’t like the rules or gets angry with you, he or she will call Gramma. In other words, they don’t need to stay at home because they have Gramma’s house. Gramma will take my side. Gramma will make me feel better. Gramma will listen and understand.
That’s all fine and good UNTIL Gramma undermines mom and sides with your teen and enables your teen in a way that it justifies his or her disrespectful behavior. Basically, your teen wants someone to side with them and who better than Gramma.
Well, what your teen doesn’t realize is he or she should never underestimate mom. In the end, SHE IS YOUR MOM, Gramma is NOT. She will win, trust me.
Using Gramma against mom is not smart and Gramma should know that her job should be to talk with your teen and reason with him or her to see what mom and dad are trying to communicate or what lesson they are trying to teach.
What will make it worse is when Gramma starts fighting with mom because she agrees with your teen! Really? Who is the adult? Who is the teen? Now mom, has two people to deal with but, mother-in-law dearest or mom should know better. How would they like it if you or your husband did that when you were a child. It’s ridiculous that you now have to reason with your mother-in-law or mom when you shouldn’t have to! You have a teen to deal with!
Remember that help they gave you when your teen was a baby? Well, they certainly aren’t doing it now!
So, parents, teens, does this sound familiar? Do you have a mother-in-law/mom that makes matters worse? Do your teens run to Gramma whenever things get tough at home? What do you do to resolve this?