Recently my 14-year-old daughter asked me if she could get her belly button pierced. As I stood there wanting to scream “HECK NO”!, I realized she needed to see that I was respecting her time to talk with me and that I owed it to her to at least listen.
Ok, I listened as she told me that “all her friends have done it, she would not flaunt it, what is the big deal, it’s better than a tattoo”, etc.. etc..
As contemplated my response, I asked her why it was so important to her? She said that she always wanted to get one, but, she knew we (her dad and I), would never allow it because she was too young. So I asked her, “Don’t you think you are too young now?” She said “no.” She told me most kids her age are getting them, especially the soccer players in her league.
I personally think she is too young, but I am also her mother and am biased when it comes to her. I don’t see her like everyone else. It’s my job to protect her and make decisions that I feel are best for her now and in the future.
I said I would discuss it with her dad and she responded, “Oh, dad will say no, so you have to convince him to say yes.” WHAT? I told her I was not “convincing” anyone and all I could promise her was a conversation with her dad. If she did not like that response then the answer was “no.” She said “fine”, she would wait.
I think I am just pushing off a battle with her since I don’t want her to have it and I know her dad will most definitely not want her to have it either.
So, I ask you, what do I do? Do I fight this battle till the end with a stern “No” or should I pick my battles and just compromise and take her and make sure it is a small, nice piercing? Am I making a bigger deal than it needs to be? No one will see it anyway right?
Would love your feedback and opinion.