During the course of your life you will meet many people who will have an adverse affect on you and will either stay in your life or go. Some stay for a short time and some longer and even very few forever.
I was talking to my daughter about how you will make so many friends in high school and college and throughout your life, but there will be very few who will be your “best friend” forever. I told her that I have lifetime friends that I can count on one hand and that’s enough for me. I have my childhood friend since 2nd grade Jackie, my college room-mate Suzanne, and my best friend Sally. These ladies are my true friends. Friend that wont judge me, turn on me, leave me or be jealous of me. They are the ones that stick with you NO MATTER what. And you want to know something, Jackie and Suzanne don’t even live near me. They live in other states. But, that doesn’t matter. We pick up like we never missed a beat. It was as if distance was never there. THAT IS FRIENDSHIP. They are my sister soul mates. I can tell them anything and they will love me forever and for that I cherish and adore them.
Recently, my daughter Olivia told me about one of her “best friends” she had in 8th grade and 9th grade that her dad and I thought was a bad influence and NOT a true friend. Olivia soon realized in 9th grade her “friend” was betraying her, getting her into trouble and hanging around the wrong people. At that time I told Olivia, that Monica is not your friend. Friends don’t get you in trouble. They want the best for you and protect you. Well, she broke off their friendship and it was the best thing Olivia did.
I remember the day she told me “Mom, I told Monica we needed a break. I just want to stay away from her. She hangs around the wrong people.” I was thrilled Olivia came to this conclusion on her own without my input. I was so proud. Olivia was actually listening to me! Constant communication does work. There is hope!
Recently, her friend Monica was arrested for selling ADHD meds. Olivia said she was expelled from school as well. Inside I was saying “I told you so!” I mentioned to her all the times I told her Monica wasn’t her friend and not a good influence. See where she landed… in jail! Her life will never be the same with a record and being expelled.
I remember that Monica had parents that were “cool” according to Olivia. Her parents would go out late and leave Monica at home and sometimes for a weekend which resulted in parties at the house and police! I told Olivia those parents aren’t cool. It’s much easier not to discipline and to allow things to happen. It’s easier to not be involved in your kids lives. These parents went out all the time!
I told Olivia, its fine for parents to go out but it’s not okay to go out overnight and late so there is no adult supervision for a high school teen at home. I’m not naive enough to go out late or go away for a weekend and not expect parties at my house. You see what that parenting style did to their child!
Olivia now realizes as she is growing up the importance of choosing friends carefully and surrounding yourself with people who will have a positive influence on you. I told her about her one best friend Jared, who has been her friend since 5th grade and is loyal and there for her always. I said, “Olivia, Jared will be one of your friends on your one hand. ” She said “yeah, he will”.
Friends will come and go through your life and some friendships will end, but not by choice and that is fine because I guess they truly weren’t your friend after all then were they?