OCD or Responsible Mom?

My daughter keeps telling me that I am a OCD mom because I continually get on her about organizing  and keeping her room  clean and straightened.  She leaves things lying around and I want her to put it in its right place so she doesn’t lose it.  She tells me ” just because it’s not done when you want it or the way you want it doesn’t mean it wont get done.” Well, I am trying to teach her to respect her things, be responsible and to do things the right way not just doing it. I am trying to teach her that when you get out in the real world, you wont be able to get away with this.

Olivia also has assigned daily chores, which of course I get on her if it’s not done by a particular time because history has shown that if she doesn’t do her chores by a specific time, it wont get done at all!

I understand she is a teen and I should expect this behavior, but I will not encourage it by not saying anything when she falls short of her responsibilities and her parents expectations.

Why does everything we ask our teens to do have to be a battle?? I tell Olivia, “You know what’s expected of you, do it and I wont have to be “OCD” with you.”

I take offense when she says I am OCD because she says it like it’s a bad thing!Shouldn’t she be proud to have a mom that cares about raising her responsibly?  I am sure she should, but she’s 14 and let’s be realistic.. she could care less!!

I am so hoping that someday when she is much older she will thank me for being “OCD” and  getting on her for things.

So I ask you, am I being OCD or just being a mom? How do you handle it?

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  1. Pamela September 24, 2011 at 5:27 pm

    I have two boys aged 14 and 16. Their bedrooms are a mess, especially the 14 year old’s. I try to get them to do some basic clean-up in their room just so that they have clean, unrumpled clothes, and clean sheets. Like your daughter, my boys could care less. I try to just close their doors and let them have a little ownership over their own rooms. So, I do not require that they keep their desks organized or their beds made. I’m trying to find a happy medium. But, when it comes to household chores – that affects the family. I think you can expect that your daughter do the chores by a certain time and to a level of quality that is acceptable to you. I also worry that my boys will grow up and have filthy, unorganized living spaces. I think there is hope. My nephew is 23 and while at home his room was such a disaster that it brought a lot of friction to bear on his relationship with his dad. However, he now has a place of his own. His grandmother, my mom, recently visited him and reported proudly how neat, tidy, and even decorated his little house is. I hold out hope that even though my boys are not interested in neatness now, in the future they too may experience pride of ownership of space.

    1. mominthesprings October 3, 2011 at 7:13 pm

      Thank you so much for your feedback and point of view Pamela. I too agree with you and hold out hope that our kids may not have neat rooms now but, when they leave the nest, they will remember what we tried to teach them over the years and make us proud!


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