I never blog about my son Matthew, my “little man”. He’s 14 and hitting puberty full force. We recently went to his annual physical, which I consider my report card as a mom. He grew 4 inches and gained 15 lbs in one year! He’s 63 ” tall and 105 lbs! How did this happen before my eyes?
I always call Matthew my “little man” and recently he said, “Mom, what are you going to do when I am all grown up? Are you still going to call me your “little man?” I said, “YES!” In my eyes, you are the little boy I longed for when I was trying to get pregnant. You make me smile when no one else can. You are my life. So yes, you will always be my “little man”.
I see him changing, and becoming more awkward with me about certain things that before were fine. He keeps more to himself and has become more independent. I feel like he doesn’t need me, but I know he does. I miss the little boy who used to always want to be around me. Don’t get me wrong, my Matthew gives me daily hugs and kisses and will tell me how his day went. Every chance I get, I tell him how much he is loved and why. I try to take opportunities to get quality time with him.
I know he has to grow up and I love the man he’s becoming. But, I wish he could be the little boy who wanted me to pick him up and hold him constantly. I miss his little arms around my neck, holding me so tight. Even now when he hugs me, I feel all of life’s stresses leave my body.
Funny how I don’t mind that my daughter is growing up! I know it’s a double standard. It must be a mother-son thing. I know my daughter Olivia will be fine and I am so excited for what is ahead for her as she starts planning for college next year. I know she is dying to grow up fast and live life to the fullest. But, Matthew? No, he can wait to grow up! I’m not ready for girls breaking his heart or his feeling disappointment over anything he’s trying to achieve.
As I tell Matthew often, ” I love you forever. I like you for alway. As long as you’re a living, my baby you will be!” — Robert Munsch