My daughter thinks her mom is annoying

If your teenage daughter has considered you annoying at some point in her life, know that you are not alone.

I have a great relationship with my teenage daughter. Most of the time.

Sometimes, I’m just plain annoying.

I am most annoying when I say the wrong thing. For example, yesterday, when my daughter told me she was going to borrow a dress for an upcoming party,  I asked her why she doesn’t wear the blue dress I bought her for a different event.  I continued on to tell her how good she looks in the dress. Big mistake. Just from her voice I could tell she was annoyed with me.

What is it about the mother/daughter relationship that lands a mother in the dog house with just a few wrong words? I am much more annoying to my daughter than I am to my sons. Most of the time, I don’t even realize what I’m about to say could be considered annoying. But once it’s out, I know right away what I have done.

One way I’m particularly annoying is the  habit I have of repeating myself. This is extremely annoying to my daughter.  How many of you mothers have offered a little bit of advice only to hear this response?

“Mom…You’ve told me that ten times!”

I’m also annoying when I excessively worry about my daughter’s messiness.

“Mom, no one but you cares if I make my bed.”

And let’s not forget how annoying I am when I don’t give the answer my daughter wants to hear.

“Mom, you don’t understand.”

By now, I have figured out the things I do most likely to annoy my daughter:

  • Offer life lessons
  • Remind her of something I want her to do
  • Tell her not to get worked up over something
  • Offer a solution to a problem
  • Ask too many questions

As a mother of a teen girl, I am resigned to the fact that I just can’t avoid being annoying. Yet, I presume my daughter believes I have some good qualities to offset my annoyingness because, despite how  irritating I can be, my daughter and I remain close.  I know in my heart when it really matters, I’ll be the one she’s talking to — and I will try really hard not to be annoying about it.

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8 Comments

  1. Kelvin April 13, 2016 at 2:53 pm

    I love this post! It couldn’t be more my life at this moment with my 16 year old. I will get to relive it yet again when my 10 turns 15.

    Reply
  2. Natalie April 15, 2016 at 4:32 pm

    My 17YO daughter and 14YO son still call me mommy, and I love it. Not all the time, but (her) most the time. It’s the other things that have transitioned that I’m struggling with, no one wants family time, or “quality” time with is parents anymore. Ugh. 🙁

    Reply
  3. Rachel April 15, 2016 at 5:27 pm

    Oh, I am so there! I am annoying if I ask if we could do something to please me, if I show too much affection or to little. If I wash up clothes that were put in the basket by accident… I seem to spend a lot of time with my lips pursed these days! Thanks for sharing!

    Reply
  4. Katherine April 17, 2016 at 9:37 am

    So true. I have a son, and his adolescence has been emphatically difficult. But we are still a close family, and that is what keeps me going.

    On a related note, has anyone seen the YouTube video “it’s not the nail”? My son’s counselor told us about it. Something to consider the next time my son comes to me, and I reflexively go into “life lesson” mode.

    Reply
  5. Silvia April 20, 2016 at 7:56 pm

    So true! this is exactly where I’m at with my fourteen year old daughter. (somedays it’s hard to imagine 4 years of this coming up thru high school years…..:-| ) The bullet points are exactly what I think as well.

    Reply
  6. Amy April 28, 2016 at 2:28 pm

    I remember being so annoyed by my mom, but I went straight to her when I needed a shoulder to cry on. I always hope that this is the way my daughter feels as she rolls her eyes, crosses her arms and leaves my presence. So when she really needed help this week, she actually came to me! Best early Mothers’ Day gift ever!

    Reply
  7. raisingteensblogger (Cindy) May 4, 2016 at 10:25 am

    So glad there are other parents out there who can relate!

    Reply
  8. G August 29, 2018 at 7:55 am

    I am glad I am not alone, my 14 year old daughter thinks I am annoying. Her father and I are divorced and he has a new fiancée and my daughter likes spending time with them, if I suggest time with me or talk about her mates, or even “parent” her then I am annoying. It’s all about her friends and boys, school and that she is a “mature14 year old, who isnt silly” as she tells me. I miss so Ichihara the little girl who loved spending time with me, didn’t roll her eyes when I asked for a cuddle and always wanted me around”. She says she loves me and her father the same but there’s a niggle in me that thinks she prefers her father’s company more. I could be wrong.

    Reply

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