When I was taking my son to driving school this morning, I noticed he was wearing his earphones and watching something on his cell. The car was quiet, so I decided to put music on to maybe get his attention. Nothing. Then, I started to dance and move my arms around like a crazy mom. Nothing. Finally, I gently tap his foot to get his attention. He answered so sweetly (I am being sarcastic), “What?” I replied, ” I just want to talk.” Mind you, I realize NO teen boy wants to talk to his mom early in the morning. But, I was curious to find out his response to my request.
So, he says to me, “Can’t you see I have ear buds in?” I replied “Yes. What does that mean?” “It means, when ear buds are in, I don’t want to talk,” he said.” “So, when can we talk then?” I said. “Later,” he said.
Well, alrighty then.
Now, many of you moms and dads are probably wondering or asking yourselves, “Why do you have to ask to talk to your son? Why is he being rude and not talking to you?”
Well here is my response:
- He is a typical 16-year-old teenage boy who is up at 7:45am during summer break. What do you expect?
- When he wants to talk, he comes to me. He will talk when HE wants to talk not when I want to talk. Its not always about me.
- When you were 16, how talkative were you with your parents in the early morning?
- Teens at this age only think of themselves. They don’t get to control much in their life, but they control their privacy, or at least they will try to.
- One car ride does not define your teen, nor your relationship. Maybe my son woke up in a bad mood? Maybe, he just wants to be left alone?
- By giving him space, I can teach him that I respect when he wants to be to himself. Respecting that means he will do the same in return to you. However, he knows the lines of communication are open for when he does want to talk.
- This too shall pass. I know from friends with teen boys that my son won’t always be like this. Most boys go through this stage.
Every day when my son leaves my car for his driving class I say, ” I love you. Have a nice day.” He says back to me, ” Love you too, and you too mom.” THAT means more to me than awkward forced chit chat.
I need my son to know how loved he is every day no matter what, and in return the love I feel and receive from him makes up for the “ear bud silence.” Hearing my teen son say ” I love you” makes me happy. As a mom, those three words, hug my soul.
Cant wait to find out if other parents experience the “ear bud silence” and how you handle it?