Do we really know our teenagers?

My daughter said to me the other day after our daily/weekly “mother/daughter bonding” moment, that I really “didn’t know her.” She said that who she is around her friends is “who she really is.” Well, I then asked her “Who are you?” She answered: “Not who I am around here.”

What does that mean? Does she lead a double life?

Part of me was sad that she can’t  “be herself” at home, but did I really expect her to not be? I told her that I understood that the way she acts around her friends is not the way she acts at home. I was a teenager at one point you know.

This “teenage stage” is harder that I thought.

I truly believe teenagers want their privacy and want to be treated like adults — even if they aren’t. I also believe around friends they can be who they want to be or what they wish they could be, older, more mature. But at home, THEY ARE exactly what they are, teenagers, not adults, someone’s children, someone’s brother or sister.

I hope someday my daughter will be able to “be herself” around me, but then again aren’t we different around our friends than with our family?

Curious to know what you think?

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  1. raisingteensblogger January 11, 2012 at 2:58 am


    I was so offended the other day when my daughter acted completely different around her friends than she does around me. It was like they had a secret language and I wasn’t entitled to know it. Maybe our teens are different people around their friends. Anyway, your post helped me to feel I’m not as alone in raising a teen daughter.

  2. Jessie March 7, 2012 at 7:05 am

    Good blogging!


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