Raising Teens

A site for parents of teens striving for sanity

How do you know if your teen is having sex?

I have often wondered with the way teenage girls are now a days- trying to be cool, trying to impress the boys, trying to be popular and older than they really are. They are  dressing provocatively and of course they think they know  more than anybody else. Then, there’s the issue of what age they having sex.

I know girls in my generation, Generation X , were having sex much later. But, I get a feeling  this Generation Y girls are having sex in middle school? I say that because my daughter told me that girls she knew were having sex in middle school. I was shocked and yet not surprised. I was also saddened by the fact that these young girls have allowed their virginity to be given to a boy like it was nothing. There are no filters any more whether it is TV, the internet, magazines etc. It’s as if sex is expected at a young age. What has happened to Generation Y? Sex in middle school really?

I know my Generation, Generation X, wasnt so casual with sex or taking pictures or videos and posting them as teens today are because we didn’t have all this technology. By why do we allow technology  to dictate morals and self-respect?

Does Generation X realize what their children in Generation Y are doing? Is it just easier to look the other way and chalk it up to being a teen? When do we step in and say ENOUGH? When do we take back technology’s way of taking away our privacy, our morals and self-respect and start raising our kids and teaching values?

I know its easy to blame technology but on the other hand, being a parent is also A LOT HARDER today than our parents had it. I know my mother says she could never raise a teenager now — too hard, she says. She sees how I struggle with my teen daughter. But,  I have to come to terms that I have to accept how Generation Y and soon  Generation Z  teen culture has become when it comes to sex.

I may not like it or approve but, by God, I will be involved in my children’s lives every step of the way. If that means having to get birth control pills or condoms, so be it. I may not condone it but I also am not stupid and have to realize safety first. Teens will go behind your back, so why not make sure they are prepared? Sticking your head in the sand and pretending it’s not happening doesn’t mean it isn’t. It SUCKS being a parent of a teen at times! It’s hard, frustrating and mentally draining but I know the reward at the end will be worth all the struggle.

So, how do we know if our teen is having sex? We don’t unless we get involved in his or her life. Again, I am appalled at the fact that teens are having sex in middle school, but I do know the only thing I can do is talk to my  daughter and soon-to-be teen son and educate them. I can try to help them understand that sex in middle school is just too young and not appropriate.

Will they listen? Maybe, Maybe not but,the key is to build that relationship with them and to be involved in their lives.

 

1 Comment

  1. Hello, a great way to tell if a young teen male has been having sex is his ego. Now this is not very hard to see. He might start talking a lot of trash, or being a perv. Or he could simply start asking lots of questions about sex and other things of that nature. Check his history. If he is looking up porn or questions on sex you at least know its on his mind.

    Now girls I am not all familiar with, mainly because I am a 17 year old male. But what I do know is this. They may start getting shy or scared. They also will be very emotional. Like slam a door in your face mad, or sad.

    Now again the girl part is just my knowledge of reading up on the human body. The mail part is coming from being a fellow teen.

    You are perfectly correct about middle school being to early, asking your children face to face might give hints to if they did. Best best is to educate them. Possibly even bribe them. My mom said “no sex or drugs and I’ll buy you a car, once your out of highschool.” This worked I am now I’m college and have yet to get my self involved. But I’ve also had great teachings from many different people. So educate then show them what you can catch with sex. And all the horrible possibilitys of sex.

    I hope this helped you out!

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